1 Sample’Comments’for’aSummativeEvaluation’ ’ MASTER’OF’TEACHING’PROGRAM’ OISE,’UNIVERSITY’OF’TORONTO’! Visuals a bit too busy, sentences too long. Clear presentation of the literature College students are assigned a lot of writing. The following recommendations about writing comments were developed for students in writing and literature classes; however, with a little adjustment, they can be applied to any writing assignment. Feedback can seem discouraging, yet when the dissertation is finished, the feedback will make a vital difference in the quality of dissertation. What do the results imply, mean? Feedback, proofreading, and revising are as important in writing a dissertation as doing research or the actual writing of the dissertation. A sampling of comments from Paper Presentation Critiques Econ 730, Fall 2005. I liked how you kept relating to your own research plans The combination of what I thought an abysmally low grade and margins drenched in the red of electronic comments felt as though academic open season had been declared on me personally. Maybe should give more background for someone not familiar with the area. Concentrate on just a few important points in such a short presentation; Be more selective in explaining elements of the paper Writing comments on student papers is something of an art: it requires a little thought and practice for the comments to be effective--that is, both read and attended to. It would help listeners to understand what they expect to see. You have general areas of further study but what specifically would you do? Of course, length and type of feedback vary between individual tutors and … Need a conclusion or "take home message ". OWL Sample Feedback writing assistance The following are actual responses to some of our recent submissions to the Online Writing Lab, although the names have been changed to maintain the anonymity of student writers. A bit negative Research has found that while novices prefer positive feedback (in order to boost their confidence), once people become experts in a subject area, they prefer negative feedback ( in order to step up their game). Maybe should provide a little more detail about the methodology Good critique of the author's conclusions Very well organized; easy to understand No conclusion, take-home message, If you would give us more verbal explanations of the equations it may be easier to catch up Engage the audience more by talking to audience, not to PPT slides. Examples of Feedback on Student Writing. Econ 730, Fall 2005. Managed to keep a theoretical paper precise The graphs are nice but should spend more time explaining them The research problem is clear; objectives clearly stated Didn't read from screen--good job The speaker covers too much literature and loses focus on the main area of focus. Mention the reason why chose this paper; There was hardly any discussion of why this paper was selected until the end of the presentation. The speaker should explain the graph and equation in a more intuitive way. Needed to better manage time--spend less time on relatively less important aspects (e.g. How? You can expect similarly global-oriented comments and suggestions for developing your own work. More intuition with less math. The presenter was best when [he/she] forgot to be nervous and let [his/her] enthusiasm shine through A sampling of comments from Paper Presentation Critiques Maybe you can point to some of the significant central empirical values rather than talking generally about a table of numbers. I think we shouldn't show he equations if we will not talk/explain them Providing Feedback on Student Writing Funded by U.S. Department of Education AANAPISI Grant. Do not interrupt questions Speak as if you're the authority on [topic]. Kept saying paper was good instead of looking for potentials extensions Don't be so nervous! Good eye contact and comfortable with audience No handout? Responding to Student Writing Comments and grades on student writing arguably constitute the most serious, sustained teaching intervention you can make in a student’s writing career. Relate the paper to the rest of the lit: what's different about this work, what contributions does it make, how is this theory different from others? Be a little more specific about your planned studies. I can't see the table! Spring 2013 By Sara Cook. Too many equations but not every equation was explained Should explain which factors affect positively or negatively on ... and its intuitiondefine notation and explain intuition behind each equation I like that you only put things on the slides that were integral to the paper and that you thoroughly explained everything printed on them. As an undergraduate, my first writing assignment in Jim Faulconer’s philosophy of religion course changed me. In the intro, you didn't mention about the objective or contribution of the paper. It is also desirable if you can mention what contributions you can make Clear, but sometimes fell into trap of reading from slides. lit review) What will you test? Maybe show a table or two of results instead of just having a sentence on the findings. It might be better to start with the setup, then explain the results only intuitively. Too fast; speak more slowly and your presentation will be vastly improved-- because the speed with which you speak affects all aspect of the presentation, including audience understanding and mood. The presenter should first start by stating the problem (objective) of the paper, not just start from the beginning to the end of the paper. Arrange the whole presentation tighter and introduce the topic clearer at the beginning. Enthusiastic presentation! Problem statement: The research problem is clear; objectives clearly stated Research problem: why is it important? 1. In 15 minutes, you probably don't have time to explain everything. 2 . Please try not to block the projector from being read Use facts, examples and statistics to substantiate both your positive and negative comments. You know the material very well...better than everyone in the room, in fact. why? More specifically, it was the feedback on my first paper. Relate to your own interest/direction of research. Given the time limitation, it is difficult to describe all equations. Mention the reason why chose this paper; There was hardly any discussion of why this paper was selected until the end of the presentation. Clearly stated at the beginning why you are interested in this paper and how it relates to your own work Spend more time on the core concept/definitions Good summary of where this fits into the literature Too many results on one slide State results (in words) rather than math and empirical significance only. There are some equations in your slides that you neglect to explain. I liked the summary at the beginning that mapped the presentation . Too much math You should also state why this paper is important, not just its objective; There was no formal placement of this paper in the lit. Research problem: why is it important? Had command of paper: because so familiar with field and rest of literature, it makes the audience feel very comfortable. Don't expect people to have a copy of the paper in their hands. The Powerpoint is very clear and easy to read It is very distracting when you click your pen throughout the pres. The part on Further Study is good to clarify important assumptions and factors not considered in the model Providing feedback to stimulate critical reflection requires drawing attention to the nuances of the writing such as definitions and consistency of terms throughout the broader dissertation. In this type of feedback you are not so much indicating a problem but stimulating the research student to deeper consideration of what they have written in the hope of developing a more rigorous discussion. Lecture style was slow; keep some enthusiasm Lots of intuitive explanation of the topic Answers to some questions were to long; just get to the point! As you explain the model you should refer to (or point to) the specific term in the slide. Table results can be replaced with short sentences of major findings. Enthusiasm and knowledge of topic: very interesting ideas for future research Intuition behind equations in the slides are very well explained and it is easy to follow the paper for a non-expert in this literature. Speak just a little louder Good handling of time

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