They don’t need that kind of stress. Photo Credit: Getty. 1. Focus on problem solving rather than critique. What is Vanderbilt’s Acceptance Rate and Admissions Requirements? Parents have already seen those struggles—but the college admissions officers need a clearer picture of who the student is before they begin to like that person. One adult is to be appointed as the “college parent.” Students may listed better if there is only one “coach” instead of multiple ones. My main tip to parents to help children succeed throughout high school is to take their kids to visit a college EARLY in their high school career (I’m talking freshman/sophomore year). Initially visit a few campuses to help him/her get a sense of what type of campus feels most comfortable. • Use open-ended questions to help guide your student’s decision – Check yourself when you feel inclined to offer your opinion about a campus. Consider sending your child on a group tour of college campuses. Students charged with keeping their peers in line on college campuses say they are dealing with hostility, unclear policies and health risks as they try to enforce policies to prevent COVID-19. 7. You know it’s not true. Never, ever, ever tell your son he needs to find “his passion.” It will come, but maybe not at 17 or 18. Compensation may impact where the Sponsored Schools appear on our websites, including whether they appear as a match through our education matching services tool, the order in which they appear in a listing, and/or their ranking. They won't feel so great when you break the news to them that there's no way they can go there. Sometimes, students will also need help organizing all that information into reasonable tasks so that they aren’t overwhelmed. Parents’ are vital to the process but it is less stressful for both the parent and the student if the student feels that they have the lead reign over the major choice for their future. Gentle nudges are alright “have you thought about the 4 or 5 colleges you want to apply to”? Before your kids start the essay writing process, be sure that your kid understands the basic elements of writing. A better idea is for parents and kids is to establish a weekly meeting time during senior year, say every Tuesday night for 30 minutes, where you all agree to TALK to each other about what’s going on with the search/application process and keep track of deadlines and to-do lists. Chart the course by helping them plan for the future. They want to hear from the students, not mom or dad. The part parents play in the college search and application process is always a very “sticky” issue. My parents helped a lot with my application process just by constantly notifying me about upcoming ACT dates, helping me with paperwork and even checking my e-mail for me. should occur before the lists are generated; upon research by the students, parents should review the selections with their children and make college visit arrangements, as they are usually driving. One of the best ways to demonstrate a growth mindset and low ego is to write an essay that shows your growth and isn’t afraid of mentioning times you weren’t perfect. DO: get to know the guidance counselor; help create a college checklist with deadlines; accompany your child on college visits, while taking a back seat and allowing him/her to ask questions; proofread applications; and encourage your child to do his/her personal best throughout. A simple chart with deadlines and application details is invaluable. For Chinese international students, the best way of being supportive as parents is to learn to working with the counselor’s office or getting help from experts who can delivery professional services in the US not China. During the actual nitty gritty of the process during junior and senior year, I always have parents make a ton of folders organizing all of a student’s honors, certificates, and community service hours so it is easy to access during application time. You know your child best and honestly answering these questions will help you decide the level of your involvement. Your child should be driving the process. Admissions Officers Don’t. In general, we are there to encourage, support, ask questions, even nag a little. Sound familiar? These are red flags. with friends and relatives without their express permission to do so! In the best case, the parent’s role should be of support and guidance. Parents can help their children by beginning the conversation. Parents can also assist their students in helping them to be a bit introspective about who they are, and the types of things they are good at…this type of self-knowledge is always helpful in creating your preliminary list of schools. Can you picture yourself at a school that doesn’t have a strong dance program, even if everything else seems to fit? 310–899-6026 All Rights Reserved. As an admissions administrator and the parent of two college graduates, I have known both sides of the search process. Planning for college is an ideal way to begin the process. We can help! The deal is that you get to be their child all week long…and for these hours they can ask you ANYTHING and you have to honor them. ], A: Parents should be the biggest cheerleaders, but from the sidelines. Of everything on this list, this one will probably be the hardest for me as a parent. Parents can help students best by remembering that this process is about their children first and foremost. Its difficult, I know, to not live vicariously through our children, and once you see some of the amazing campuses and facilities that are out there no one would blame you for wishing YOU were the student. The college application process may be the first time a student has been put to the task of administering paper work. When visiting a college, the student needs to ask the questions (even if you rehearsed some at home). But, there’s no reason why a student can’t take the initiative in registering for campus visit programs. This is a good role for parents. Applying to college can be stressful–but not just for students. Do not ask to read personal statements and supplemental essays. The one who can reach the destination with the fewest transfers wins! When the real application process starts, though, it’s important that parents step back, offering advice and encouragement but allowing the student to do the work. Make sure not to overwhelm her with too much information. However, don’t make “the college admissions process” nightly dinner time conversation. From JCPenney. Anyone can open an online account to review the Common Application and doing so will allow you to read not only the essay prompts on the Common Application itself, but also the supplementary prompts required by many of the colleges that accept the Common App. They can ask for essays, go over applications with you, help you to refine your lists — whatever they want. Parents should read up on the process and ask questions themselves of the colleges, counselors, etc so that they can better help their budding college student. It has to be the whole film—we have to become invested in the character first before their victories mean anything to us, before we begin rooting for them. Once your child has identified qualities in schools that are a good fit you and your child can focus on a few more school visits. Parents need to involve students in scheduling and planning out projects, whether these are science fairs or college applications. Disclosure: EducationDynamics receive compensation for the featured schools on our websites (see “Sponsored Schools” or “Sponsored Listings” or “Sponsored Results”). If your child creates a balanced college list, he/she will get into a "good fit" college where she/he will be successful and happy. The college process can be complicated and confusion. It is critical to remember that you are helping you child prepare to launch. One way that parents can help is by determining the costs of the various colleges and clearly calculating what is affordable, and what scholarship and grant money would be needed to be able to attend. Let you child feel ownership of the process and remember that motivation is internal! DON'T: write the essays and over-edit applications. How can parents help students with the college search and application process? Have fun, enjoy the ride, celebrate successes and truly relish the time you are spending together. Helping means listening, asking good (and non judgmental) questions, visiting college fairs and campuses, and helping with record keeping. Parents should be a resource for assistance, advice, and trouble shooting. As a Forbes Senior Contributor, I write about emotionally intelligent approaches to education, business, and life. College-ready students need to gain independence and manage increased levels of academic and personal responsibility – and this is the time to start. Help the kids discover what they are really good at and really interested in. Some things for parents to keep in mind: make sure financial aid deadlines are not missed; gather and organize financial documents prior to the beginning of the student’s senior year; let the child know you are there if needed; stay out of the way. I think a really important thing is for parents and kids to have a good conversation about that before you're in the crunch. As application deadlines start to get close, you can change the time (by mutual agreement) to add time, if necessary. If a parent finds him/herself saying, “WE’re applying to _____________;” (fill in the blank), that parent is WAY too involved in the application process. Parents should ask more questions with the college admission process rather than being a dictatorial parent. But in College-speak, financial aid can mean something else: loans. The hardest thing for well-educated, successful parents to do these days, it seems, is to allow students the freedom to be themselves, to discover their own strengths and interests, and to learn from their mistakes. Those mindsets and personality traits include a growth mindset, strong intellectual curiosity, empathy and friendliness and strong emotional intelligence. Things like location, size, setting and cost can help shape a college list. Participate in the process by providing your student with encouragement and support: That would certainly constitute crossing the boundaries of what would be acceptable. That said, the current Common App asks things like what year did both parents graduate college. So the students need to write their own essays. That is not a good message to give your student at a time when (s)he is struggling with decisions the likes of which (s)he has not faced before.

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