While it is certainly okay for your parents to proofread your college essays for grammatical errors, it’s important that the content of the essay is 100% yours! And while appealing to colleges is obviously the end goal, I think my writing would have been better served had I reflected more about myself, rather than reflecting on what I thought colleges should see in myself. To learn more about me, go to TheCollegeInvestor.com, or follow me on Twitter @collegeinvestin. How to Search for Posts Within a Facebook Group? But remember above all else, it needs to be your essay, in your voice, telling your story. It’s a very expensive investment that has many parents worrying about who is going to pay for it and how. Asking someone who is slightly more removed from the application process may be the wisest route to go. Financial aid may be available to those who qualify. Good luck with whatever path you take, and good luck to your son on his college admission. While parents mean well, any constructive feedback may be misinterpreted, creating conflict at what can already be a stressful time. Parents, or anyone else for that matter, should not become emotionally involved with the essay and encourage the student to use wording that they themselves would have used. ... She wrote the essays and got the applications together. Many times however, when a parent tries to help, they do more harm than good. Check to Ensure Zoom Is the Latest Version on PC? We take great care to provide quality information. Sometimes even the loans are not enough. The admissions officer reads to determine if they should offer you one spot out of probably relatively very few. To guide us through this parental conundrum, we’ve turned to Jacob Palmer, student blogger and junior at American University, for some parent / student advice. I don’t see a problem with the parent helping improve grammar, etc. It is very easy to spot an essay that has been overly edited by a parent and that is not good for the students chances of admission. So what does this mean for you? Everybody does it. Most of the time I see that parents get into an essay and take away the student voice…they make it too polished for a high school student. Here’s another listing I bumped into on Craigslist too: They do not know what admissions officers are looking for. Unfortunately, too many cooks spoil the pot, so to speak…and kids easily get confused when parents, English teachers, their counselor, and their friends all have different advice. The College Application Process has greatly changed in the past 25 years. Just be sure that it still reads like it was written by a 17 year old and it shares the story that is important to them and not just an important sounding topic that a parent thinks would be more impressive . They can also check the student’s transcripts and test scores if they suspect that the writing quality of the essay seems to be overly “mature.” And you don’t want your kid to be exposed as the kid whose mommy wrote his essay, do you? If a parent can help with the college essay, so be it. 98% of the volunteer work that my students do helps their college applications very little. At times I felt like she was curbing some of my more creative ideas. Any reasonably important document (be it resume, essay, thesis) should absolutely be printed out, and given to some other individual for their feedback. If you leave student aid out of the equation, you’re choosing between paying $85,480 or $194,040 for a four-year degree. The danger there is that the essay starts sounding more like a forty something adult, instead of a high school senior. The first step is starting early and planning ahead. I'm a personal finance expert that focuses on helping millennials get out of student loan debt and start investing for their future. Please be comfortable with MLA/APA and capable of writing under strict deadlines. Even a sprinkling of well-intentioned re-writing could call the student’s authorship into question. How would you describe your relationship with your mom when it came to writing your essays? Mike Kent But this is a basic parenting question, really: do you want to model that cheating and circumventing the system is acceptable as long as you get the desired outcome (which, of course, you might well not get anyway), or do you want to show him that you trust him and have confidence in his innate abilities? Parents know their children best. Admissions officers are a smart bunch! I would still suggest that a English professional still read over the essay for expert editing purposes. I don’t see why the parent can’t do the same. In general, these five types of activities don’t help your college application much. We are in that same boat that a lot of middle class families are in. Avoid believing that they will, and focus your attention on activities (and studying) that will improve your admissions chances. Most families don't! Obviously, this was a poor decision — a fact Cruz probably knows by now. Morally repugnant–could not be better expressed. We can tell when the student’s voice is missing; the colleges can tell too. Everything should be spelled correctly, with correct grammar and punctuation, but the essay should sound like a high school student wrote it. For a parent, particularly one who is a skilled writer, it seems quite reasonable to help with editing and revisions. When the aid packages come in, talk through them with your child so they can understand what’s being offered. Editing is the process of going from a rough draft to a finished essay; it deals with what you’re saying, how you say it and how you organize it. 1. Admissions officers are looking for something, anything, to distinguish your essay from the pile. Short Answer: Think again. Parents seem a little too willing to forgo their own goals and even borrow money to help with school. How should they “help” their children? You should absolutely have someone help with both stages (I have some thoughts on proofreading in another answer). Program outcomes vary according to each institution’s specific program curriculum. Become an educated consumer of higher ed. Hold Back: Applications and Essays. That throws up a flag and not a good one. I also help parents make smart. Of course you do. If you decide to bring up application essays with your junior, do it casually, in response … It is, however, a good idea for the parents to help the student brainstorm ideas for the essay prior to writing it. Your editor will be able to help you improve your essay with that feedback. Parents are also a great second pair of eyes for grammar and spelling errors. After all, it’s their life, and it can be fully their responsibility. Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. And, after all, the college still has the interview to size up the applicants. Students are encouraged to be creative and take risks with their application essays, and conflict inevitably rises from that risk taking. I think the father/mother can help in a few important ways: by reading the essay, asking the child what idea he/she is trying to convey, and SUGGESTING (not telling) ways to convey it using the existing framework, maintaining voice, etc. And those professional services have quite a lot of chutzpah too, if I may use that word. However, true editing starts to move into the substantive writing process and in the end the writer of the college essay should be the applicant. The bottom line is, if they don’t finish the applications and essays, they won’t be admitted to school. I’d say it was strained, but in a good way. He is smart and capable and if the worst thing that happens is a gap year where he has to get a job ,then he will get a different kind of education.”. Your student may be more interested in joining the military and serving a term before deciding what to do long-term. Reading essays is what they do for a living! The reader can usually tell immediately when that has been done. Assist, guide and help are acceptable action verbs during the College Admissions Process. You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay … Most experts suggest you have 25 times your annual salary stashed away in order to retire, and every age group falls drastically short when you consider median savings figures. Most families don't! “Leading national provider of academic research and writing assistance is seeking freelance writers to help students with model essays and papers. Having said that, I would believe that the admissions professional may find your essay refreshingly imperfect and forgive the the occasional spelling or grammar gaffe, if the essay is highly unique, insightful or humorous, or just demonstrates great writing and self perception. prepare a spread-sheet or set up a chart or calendar for important college application, testing, visit and scholarship deadlines and requirements. Yes! Here are some examples of parental over-zealousness bordering on hyper- helicoptering. As a result, senior citizens ages 60 to 69 owed a collective $85.4 billion toward student loans at last count. Recalculating High School GPAs: How It’s Done, College Essay Examples That Worked and Why. It is important that a parent only helps in editing and not actually writing the essay. The reality is, your school of choice will have a marked effect on how much you or your child have to borrow or pay in cash. Consider this: College Board figures show that average tuition and fees at public, in-state schools worked out to $21,370 per year including room and board for the 2018-19 school year. I have the unusual distinction, however, of having a professor of journalism and ex-Boston Globe editor for a mom, so I don’t think my circumstances are necessarily the norm. Students may ask their parents for editing the essay, however, they better off asking their English teacher for such task. Here are some examples of parental over-zealousness bordering on hyper- helicoptering. Parents should always help their child in a positive way as long as they are not writing the ideas for the student. CONNECT WITH OTHER PARENTS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT. — A good editor will help you think about your readers, and will help you structure and write your essay so that it’s something people want to read. She can be reached at. [How To Talk To College Financial Aid and Admissions Officers]. For students, the high school years can be a whirlwind of growth, enlightenment…and stress. How Can I Enable Spell Check and Grammar Check in Gmail? There are a lot of very useful life options that don’t involve a four-year school, so don’t panic. As one parent told me, “I’d be crazy to let my high school senior handle the most important decision of his life totally on his own. Some parents can act as a sounding board without taking over the project, while others cannot. We cover everything from application timelines and strategies to tips on financing your child's education. This is a good place to step back from and let your student take the lead. Having said that, I would believe that the admissions professional may find your essay refreshingly imperfect and forgive the the occasional spelling or grammar gaffe, if the essay is highly unique, insightful or humorous, or just demonstrates great writing and self perception. If your student is not disciplined enough to finish essays and admissions, they can deal with the consequences and try again next year. While a parent can serve as a proofreader for your essay and perhaps offer you a perspective on how it reads, it is never ok for the parent to author it or extensively edit it. This web site is for the purpose of disseminating information for educational purposes, free of charge, for the benefit of all visitors. Using cash savings to help pay for college is one thing, but what happens when parents borrow the money? If your teenager does not have stellar verbal skills, as evidenced by lackluster English grades or SAT scores, but his or her personal statement reads like a Pulitzer prize-winning novel, don’t you think the admissions reader will raise an eyebrow? When a parent gets too involved, the story does not sound like an essay written by a 17-year-old student. This is a good place to step back from and let your student take the lead. College admission essays have become quite a bit more important in the last 10-15 years as the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) has seen somewhat of a kickback from the admissions offices as being less relevant. However, we do not guarantee, and accept no legal liability whatsoever arising from or connected to, the accuracy, reliability, currency or completeness of any material contained on this site or on any linked site. Our college admission essay website is visited by thousands of students monthly. It is difficult for parents to remain unbiased and often it can cause a lot of added tension between the student and parent. They can help with typos, grammatical errors, and help you to be clear, concise and compelling. They’ll have to work for at least a year before they attend. What’s your opinion on this? It is not worth it to raise such a question in order to submit a better essay. The report shows that 65 percent of parents are stressed over having enough money to help, which is a 10 percent increase from last year. Editing is a part of the writing process, like development and revision, where another person can be helpful. So I think some second-guessing parental supervision is definitely helpful. No matter who helps to edit and proof your work, it’s essential that your writing remain your own. As a national expert on college application essays, I travel around the country speaking to parents, schools, and communities about college application essays. Parents may know other details about the student that they should include in the essay. I see no problem with parents doing a grammar/spelling check as well as offering suggestions on how an essay could be improved. Here Are The Best Ways To Help Pay for College. In the end, I think my essays should have been more me. They may be ready academically without being ready socially or emotionally. Ask them what they remember. The essay needs to be a reflection of the student’s creativity, writing ability and personality; not the parent. If your situation is one where parents can offer opinions that are helpful and if you are the kind of student who is open to listening to suggestions, then surely parents can be good editors. It is certainly okay for parents to help edit their child’s essay – with the key word in that sentence being EDIT. Become an educated consumer of higher ed. It goes without saying that that particular essay was never submitted with the student’s application. This is your essay, your chance to show the admissions counselor or committee your wares, not your parents. So, get used to writing your own essays. — And most importantly, a good editor will help you make this *your* essay. [Need a college planning checklist for 11th grade?]. There are many, many options and a student may feel that if they don’t make the “one perfect choice” their life will be ruined. I am doing a report on whether it is ethical for college students to obtain a job while working on their educational programs as well. If he misses one key deadline, the consequences could be severe.” No one wants to be that parent whose claim to infamy is that their child didn’t get accepted to college because he forgot to submit a requested piece of information. Nearly 60 percent of students who drop out of college had no financial help from their families. But when parents start “re-writing,” it becomes a slippery slope. “Your hard work should be recognized! Remember — the admissions officers read thousands of essays every admissions season, and they can spot an overly polished essay a mile away. I majored in Political Science at UC San Diego, and received my MBA from the Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. How to Choose the Right Independent College Counselor, Visiting Colleges: How to Plan and What to Look For. But parents should not to take over any part of the process. I will help him if he asks but I’m not going to spend the next year nagging him. Take a look at a statement the student must check before signing the Common Application: “I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented…” Does that mean that you cannot have an English teacher review the grammar? If you knew many of the parents that I work with, you would be shaking your head vigorously right now.That is not to say that some parents don’t do a great job of critiquing their child’s essay(s), but significant editing or rewriting is not recommended as adult voices don’t match teenager’s voice. Your email address will not be published. They should seek guidance from their counselors or teachers for this. Keep this in mind before hiring an editing service, or hacking away at it yourself.” A school that is $60k/yr and doesn’t give merit won’t make it on their lists. But parents should not to take over any part of the process. Not what anyone else writes including your parent. I often suggest that parents be a third editor after a counselor and a peer. Please send 2 writing samples with MLA or APA citations, and a resume if you have one. (818) 519-5279. Helping pay for college is a nice gesture, but you have to remember that your adult child can borrow money to finish college but you can’t borrow money for retirement. CollegeMax Counseling To guide us through this parental conundrum, we’ve turned to Jacob Palmer, student blogger and junior at American University, for some parent / student advice. Not only are parents borrowing money to get their kids through college, but more and more aging adults are heading back to school to increase their job prospects. Make smarter college financial decisions. Making the wrong decisions could saddle them with debt for decades. More than any other element of the application, the essay gives insight into who a student really is. She's dedicated to providing families with trustworthy information about college admissions and paying for college. Dave, I’ve got a bit of a dilemma. Graduation mortar board cap on one hundred dollar bills concept for the cost of a college and ... [+] university education, Retiree Student Loan Debt: A Troubling Trend. That being said, I do now wish I had more freedom to write about what I wanted to write about, instead of what my mother thought colleges wanted to hear. That DOES NOT mean that anyone should write it for you, or dictate it to you while you copy it down word for word and say you wrote it. Your English teacher reads your essay to assign one grade out of many. Given that your child is certain that they want to attend college, making the decision of where to attend can be overwhelming. They want to read a genuine story written by the child in the child’s words and the child’s voice. Homework help that hurts. Yes, it is perfectly okay to have your parents edit your essays. Admissions essays should be in the same category: if you want to teach your son a valuable lesson about how to get ahead, how to be an upstanding citizen and how to be proud of his own accomplishments, you need to let him work independently. Ironically, I have my own big project: a reported essay on how much parents should help with their kids’ big reports. You should take ownership and pride in the essay. My mother insisted on going over every essay, although she never made changes without consulting me first. Not only is this not ethical since it is YOUR application, but you also run the risk of putting your application into question, especially if your application essay writing style isn’t consistent with, say your SAT/ACT essay which the admissions office also has. Too much assistance–even from parents– however well intentioned, serves to undermine the process and raise questions about the legitimacy and integrity of the whole application. College admissions expert and, © 2020 Bright Horizons Family Solutions LLC. Of course, care should be taken to use and spell words correctly and to employ well-structured sentences and paragraphs, but the student should avoid using an over-abundance of words that have been pulled out of a thesaurus just to make him-/herself sound erudite. He or she isn’t a full-fledged literary genius (in most cases) and the admission officers who read the essays are well aware of this. From an ethical standpoint, a parent’s editing involvement in a student’s essay should be limited to pointing out glaring omissions or grammatical errors…and to help brainstorm to get a student past a sticking point. Students should consult with a representative from the school they select to learn more about career opportunities in that field. It is not worth it to raise such a question in order to submit a better essay. Many of those ideas she rejected would have, in retrospect, led to terrible essays. But a similar scenario could happen to any parent who is so eager to help with college that they put their own needs dead last. Is it okay for parents to help edit their child’s college essay? Our lawyer says "Thanks for your cooperation.". College applications can be fraught with stress for both parents and students. It is okay for a parent to review a child’s essay; it is not okay for a parent to take over a child’s essay, tell her what words to use, what story to write, what message to send. Because of her payment doesn’t quite cover the interest on the loans, the balance has grown to $200,000 and she won’t pay off the debt until she’s 85. Parent prepares the spread sheet; child can fill it in with info, guide your student in researching colleges on what to look for and how to compare information from college website to website, act as “Arranger-in-Chief” to set up the logistics of college info sessions, tours and visits, remind your student to continue to fill in the blanks on the College Application chart or calendar with key deadlines and requirements as the research process continues, prompt your student to begin writing their College Essays (award extra parental points for completion of drafts by Labor Day), if within the family budget, seek the help of an, urge your student to review the spread sheet, calendar and chart so they don’t miss any key deadlines or requirements, set up a weekly time for the parent and student to meet to help their student stay on track, work with your student to create a mutually-approved final List of Schools to find colleges that offer a best fit academically, socially and financially, give your student the parental information they need to complete the College Application such as the parent’s title at work, name of employer and educational background, offer to proofread completed draft Applications and draft Essays for typos and grammar errors and point them out to their student for corrections, step back if you see your child independently handling the process, step right back in if you see your child struggling with the process. I hope that my answer is informative and thought-provoking. A smart kid will learn something from that and hopefully carry it forward.

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